Japanese Cemetery Traditions

Guide to Japanese Cemetery Traditions during the Obon season

Japan will have the Obon holidays from August 13 to 16, 2023. Obon is a ceremony to honour the spirits of deceased ancestors. In many Buddhist sects, it is believed that the spirits of ancestors return during the Obon season. We welcome and entertain the spirits of our ancestors when they arrive and see them off when they depart. Although these holidays do not appear on the calendar, many Japanese people combine the traditional Obon season with their summer vacation, taking days off to return to their hometowns to visit their family graves.

This blog post guides traditionally visiting family graves during the Obon season.

What do we need to visit the family grave?

I dropped by a convenience store near my apartment to buy incense sticks, a lighter and insect-repellent spray to visit family graves. My family cemetery is located in a local area, so I wasn’t sure if there was a convenience store around the graveyard.

The most important thing to bring is some flowers. During this season, we can buy flowers for visiting graves at supermarkets. I bought two bundles of the one that cost 700 yen per bundle.

My family cemetery is 15 minutes away from Urawa station by bus.

What do we do for Japanese cemetery traditions?

First, prepare a bucket of water, and water the grave. Originally in Buddhism, offering water to the grave is considered an act of helping the ancestors suffering from thirst. Also, there are 餓鬼* “gaki” who are always hungry and cannot even drink water around the gravestones. It is said that only the water placed on the grave can be drunk by them. In light of the story says that pouring water on graves represents the compassionate heart of the Buddha, who wishes to give even water to hungry 餓鬼 ”gaki”.

*餓鬼 is a Japanese term that refers to “hungry ghosts” or “starving spirits” in English.

After watering the grave, I put flowers in two pockets of the graveside. The pockets for my family grave are not so deep, so I needed to cut the bottom of the flowers’ stems. Then, fire the intense sticks and put them away in the incense burner. It is said that Buddha, the deceased, and our ancestors enjoy fragrances. Therefore, we offer incense and flowers to deliver fragrances to them.

A true tradition is to light candles before offering incense. Then, put the food that the individual liked. I skipped those steps because I forgot to buy a candle, and insects would come to the grave because of food. For more details of the traditional way, please read the below.

Offerings called 五供 /Goku/ /Gokuː/

五供 is a set of five offerings recommended to be presented to the deceased during memorial seasons. The five offerings include “incense,” “flowers,” “candles,” “pure water,” and “food and drink.” Let’s explain each of them.

香 /koː/ Incense

In Buddhism, it is believed that the deceased and the Buddha enjoy the scent of incense. There is also an interpretation that the smoke rising from the incense stands upright and “connects the present world and the afterlife.”

花 /hana/ Flower

Flower arrangements sold as Buddha offering（お盆用、お供え用 /Obon joː, Osonae joː/）often use chrysanthemums, but it is not necessary to use them. Flowers with thorns, poisonous flowers, and strongly scented flowers are considered unsuitable, but generally, any flowers that the deceased liked or that you would like to offer for the deceased are acceptable. Fresh flowers are preferred, but artificial flowers are also acceptable.

灯燭 /toːʃjoku/ Candles

The word 灯燭 refers to lighting a candle or candlelight. Light is symbolized as a way to abandon darkness and worldly desire and reach enlightenment.

浄水 /ɡjousui/ Water

浄水 is offering water or tea to graves or Buddhist altars. It means “offering clear water to Buddha” and “purifying one’s own heart through devoted acts.”

飲食 /ondʒiki/ Food

飲食 refers to the act of offering food in front of Buddha. Since it is convenient to take away, when offering at a grave, sweets and fruits are often used, but in the case of a Buddhist altar, it is considered good to offer what we usually eat (such as rice).

If you can visit family graves in Japan, prepare incense sticks and flowers at least.